Day- Monday

Time- 11 pm

Emotional and Social Intelligence

Today, I came back from a school meeting with some unresolved questions. The discussion revolved around the ideal child—studious, patient, focused, and disciplined—something parents also expect.

As a learner in the field of psychology, I don’t claim to know everything, but from my understanding of the human brain, it operates as a triune brain, meaning it is composed of three parts interconnected to function together. These three parts of the brain influence our happiness, sadness, success, failure, anxiety, and more.

The first brain, situated at the top of the spinal cord, manages survival functions like breathing, heartbeat, and movement control. It is akin to the brain of a lizard. In fact, there’s a dialogue in the movie Krantiveer where Nana Patekar mentions, “Don’t hit from behind; there’s a small brain here, and a strike here can kill a person.” This is entirely accurate.

The second brain is located near the right ear and is similar to the brains of mammals like dogs, cats, and cows. This brain governs emotions.

The third and most advanced brain is the uppermost layer, responsible for intelligence. This part, which comprises only 4% of the total brain, makes us human and separates us from other mammals. It allows us to think rationally and differentiate between right and wrong.

The first two brains, however, constantly send impulsive signals to the upper brain, urging immediate gratification. The ability of the upper brain to regulate these impulses determines whether we act appropriately or inappropriately. If it fails to regulate these signals, behavior goes astray.

These lower brains constantly demand new experiences, entertainment, and distractions, preventing focus. That’s why controlling these impulses is crucial, and the process takes years.

Why is schooling up to the 12th grade?

The reason lies in brain development. It takes 15–16 years for the upper brain to mature fully, and this is where teachers play an essential role. When a child starts school, their brain is as undeveloped as that of a lizard or a dog. Teachers help them develop the regulatory mechanisms of the upper brain, which is crucial for success.

How can the upper brain be strengthened?

There are four key techniques: study, patience, focus, and the ability to endure boredom.

1. Study: Study deeply and with focus. Fall in love with books. Saraswati (the goddess of knowledge) blesses those who dedicate themselves to books. The more you study, the more patience you develop because studying trains the brain to regulate impulses.
2. Patience: Many believe they lack patience and therefore can’t study, but the reality is that they don’t study, which is why they lack patience. Schools dedicate 7 hours a day to help children develop this patience and train their upper brain to regulate impulsive behavior. Even sitting in class contributes to this brain development, so parents should trust that children are learning and growing.
3. Focus and boredom: Excellence in any domain can only be achieved by enduring extended periods of boredom. Boredom is not the enemy; it is the key to excellence. Curiosity, not entertainment, is the solution to boredom. Entertainment activates the impulsive brain, while curiosity strengthens the intelligent brain.

Reels, mobile games, and similar distractions are consequences of activating the impulsive brain. As teachers, we deal with children’s impulsive brains daily. They may talk, shout, run, or break rules because their upper brain isn’t yet fully developed to regulate their impulses.

A message to teachers and management:

• Teachers, don’t be angry. Instead, sympathize with children, care for them, and understand their real problems.
• Management, understand that developing focus, patience, and happiness in children is a gradual process. Don’t get frustrated with their noise, lack of discipline, or impatience—they will change over time.